I don’t think people ever move on.
They said to give time its time when things like this happen.
No, seriously, why?
Because with time, we forget?
Forget about the memories
and the way he smiles,
the way he hugs me?
I can’t forget the imprint he has left in me.
I can’t forget about the stupid dream that he told me once.
I can’t listen to some songs without being reminded of him.
I can’t read the books I lend to him anymore.
I can’t forget about the night where he needed me. When he shared a piece of his soul with me. I can’t forget his secrets, his insecurities, his fears, his aspirations.
I can’t forget his childhood stories, his discomfort in Cambodia, and how people said he is similar to his mum.
I can’t finish watching the final season of Breaking Bad that he love so much.
I can’t forget his birthday.
I can’t forget my shell.
Part of me accepts that he will always have a place in my heart. Part of me wonders why I am still stuck in the past. Part of me still loves him.
It has been 3 years, so honestly, do time made these memories fade or just numb me?
has bells attached to it,
and a sweet aftertaste
with an image of your smiling face.
Whenever I uttered your name.