There are some people in your life that are meant to stay for a while and when the time comes, they will leave.
There are some people in your life who are not meant to stay, but you choose to let them to even though it is toxic.
Is there a clear distinction between those two sentences?
The first is the people in your life who had a profound effect on you, whether it was a good or bad experience, they are only there to teach you a lesson in life. Think about those heartbreaks you had with your exes, those waves of laughter you had with your kindergarten friends, those self-esteem issues with your bullies, the first fight you had with your best friend, all of these experiences, shaped you to become who you are today. While we might have innate traits since birth, environmental factors still play a major role in ourselves.
The second is when you refused to let these people go when they should have. And it usually turns out into something ugly, and hurtful. The period of time they are in your life does not matter, whether it is 2 months or 10 years. When it is the time to let go, you let go.
If you don’t, oh darling, you are just doing yourself more harm and I know that feeling. Trust me, I do because I choose the latter.
However, I am changing that.
A friend of mine told me some really honest views of his that made me cry. He did not sugarcoat his words, he did not comfort me, he was being brutally honest. And I think, that was what I needed.
There is no use clinging on to someone based on the past if that person had already given up/not putting in the effort anymore. If he/she has decided that you are not worth their time anymore, why are you still working on it? This is the tricky part, finding out the why. To do that, you really need to search deep within your heart and ask yourself this uncomfortable questions. Is it because you still see hope? Or you thought back to the past where that person said you were once important for them?
That when you need to fucking realise, again, that while you are holding on to this, he/she is not. Anymore. People get bored. You are simply past the expiration date for that person. Also, don’t think it is their loss, your loss, or whatever. It is not their loss if that person had decided that he/she can do better, why is it their loss?
So yea, this is what I learned from him. You may disagree with his views, but for me, it is one that I knew already but never acknowledge it.
There are some people in your life who will stay forever.
Maybe you found them already, maybe you haven’t. But there are.