“Why did you do it?”

It was raining heavily that night. She was waiting for me at my front door, dripping wet from the rain as she didn’t have an umbrella. It was like a scene straight from a rom-com (romantic comedy) movie, only, there’s no comedy in her as I handed her a cup of hot chocolate.

She lowered her gaze to the cup of hot chocolate and said with a heavy sigh, “Because he is the type that girls marry to and not date.”

“What do you mean? There’s no such nonsense.”

“Yes, there is. He is committed and that make him a precious gem. The way I am now, I’m just no good for him.” I wasn’t sure if it were tears or her wet hair that are dripping down her cheeks.

“You know what, you’re full of shits right now. You should have just held onto him until you become whatever you think you have to,” I grumbled. She always always does this. Drop everything and just leave.

“Maybe, maybe I should have done that. However, I can’t deny him the opportunity of finding the type of girls that he would marry. I am just not that type yet. I know it from the deepest of my soul. I am just looking to date for now. I am honestly just scared.” She looked at me and to be honest, I don’t see any fear in her eyes, it was determination. Why can’t she see this in herself?

“But you love him, didn’t you? All those whispers and words mean nothing to you now? I know they do, I know you were really into him, I just thought you would take a leap of faith with him.”

“I am touched by his love. I just think that the both of us are just a passing tide in each other life. Who knows, we might meet in future, we might not. But definitely not now, not in this current state, I’m just not ready yet.”

“Coward,” I said with a sense of anger but also pity for her.

She laughed at that, with a tinge of sadness behind it. “I know.”


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