Assurance

Sometimes, you only need just one person’s assurance to get your confidence up. I’m not really talking about getting people to compliment you, it is more than that. It takes more than a “No, gurl you look so pretty today”. I’m also not talking about appearances in context (cause fk the world, you’re beautiful even with ten pimples on your face), I’m referring to skills that you have.

We have been bombarded with questions such as “What are your hobbies?”, “What do you like to do in free time?”, “What are you good at?” in our life. From writing ‘About Me’ composition in primary school to completing your profile in social media networks, our answers seem to vary too at different stages of our life.

I am a baker. Just a self-taught one. I can make simple stuff, not complicated(?) pastry. My level is by no means a pro. I mostly made cakes, brownies and cookies for social gatherings or simply when I felt like it.

At one point in my life, I can’t call myself a baker. Because I have to keep fucking comparing myself to others, that’s why. I admired their skills mostly and thought “wow, I can’t even do that, how could I call myself a baker?” Honestly, I was ashamed. I felt like all my families and friends’ praises for my desserts are wasted on me.

Because you see, my cakes are very simple. I don’t waste time with decorations. It’s a hassle. It’s always a naked cake and some filling in the middle. Sometimes, I frost the whole cake or covered it chocolate ganache. Brownies are my favourite to make because they are easy and so delicious to eat. I used to make it a lot during my A-Level times. I do not remember but I always bring some to school and share with friends.

Fast forward to the present where I am now a university student. This happened around October. I remembered I was eating a cake with my French Club’s people because it was someone birthday and I commented: “Oh, I should really get back to baking.”

My friend, GOB, who I knew since A-Levels said like “Yea, you should you know. I remembered where you used to bring your cakes to school and we ate it together with them (our mutual friends).”

At that moment, I was really touched by what GOB said that I started shedding tears and she’s just like “What, why you are you crying?” AHAHAH Legit a puzzled face.

I hope she knows that she reignite the confidence in me c:

Sometimes, we might doubt our skills because of all those comparisons we made and felt that these skills don’t make you “you” anymore. It is nice to be reassured of it by your family, friends or strangers even, however, I’m going to take matters into my own hands. Instead of comparing, I will improve my baking skills and try new things.

Hugs, xx.

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